no leaving day

country, is what i live in. and what they call pleasing, to the ears, and to the feet, so firmly planted within the unfortunate reaction to human nature. why, is it that the one that i have chosen to call myself is experiencing an alternate influx of fact, one so touched by power that it would, hopefully, have anyone realizing the same. hope, obviously no longer deserves a place in the mind of the reasonable.what can a reasonable being do in a land so that reflects, a seemingly increasing opposite image of itself. with every effort made to employ logic, the employee becomes worse.
How about a perfectly sensible sentence?
does nothing, a perfect example of the dilemma previously mentioned in ramble. i hope that solutions do not resemble the physical realm. if so, doing the opposite should prove effective
i should not have to describe what my words are suggesting. it is not laziness, but a fear, and a desire to repress what brings about the fright. but, the solution seems to be to forget logic, reason and intelligence. logic makes no sense to the illogical, the unreasonable can not be reasoned with, and the uneducated... won't know what i was going to say.

this one goes out to all the homies on the other side

im going to deviate from my normal style for the beginning of this one. its been a while since ive addressed the choir, and i think i should fill you all in on the facts of the rev in a clear understandable fashion.mentally stable is not a phrase reserved for me. i recently made the decision to stop taking my medication. there were a few motivators behind this. the main idea is that i want to experience life as a human. im tired to the subhuman reality i live. its time to fight this battle crutch less.now, onto my stream...given the circumstances, i live in a valley of selectively visible axe murderers and rapists. only i can see these sinners. only from my mind did they come. am secretively a masochist, enjoying every minute. a masochist with no balls to speak of, calling on reassuring supports to calm my nerves.i have seen hell, and i have walked through the valley of the shadow of death.i have kicked it with dante. he likes tennis by the way.dante said a few more weeks, and ill be ok.

rave

somehow, im in a rave. im high off my ass. none of this hapened though, it came out of my head. actually, i kind of went into my head. i found the key to get in and fully experience anything i want. i think i might be able to teach it, but the simplicity makes it dificult. think for yourself! thats it.

trust

trust no one, this is the only surefire way to remain safe. why risk it, over and over, you will be given reasons in life to believe no one. i sure have. the second you let your guard down, you're fucked by lies.

extremely sober rant

i want your sick, your weak, your tired, your poor, your suffering, i want them. i want to make an army. i want to take over, and i will, im tired of the way our society is working. Mark my words, i will change it.

A letter to the man standing behind me

why do you stay there, and then i look and your not there. you motherfucker, i swear if i find you i am going to cut you and feed you your insides. i can feel my mind leaving. i thought i would get smarter, more proficient as i got older. sadly, i feel my brain "deteriorating" in a way. and no, its not drugs, or alcohol, ive been sober almost a year. maybe i did too much damage when i was using them. maybe not. maybe im supposed to feel this. well, i know i feel like this for a reason, but at this time the reason alludes me. my sanity is the lady of lay lady lay. i've had some damn good conversations with myself. fuck sometimes they are so satisfying, other times they scare the shit out of me. why does snippet cartoon insane vision seem so seductive?

should i understand?

should this make sense? no, maybe not. i don't know whats true anymore, I've lied, and been lied to for so long. is it possible these lies have become me? can one create himself out of nothing? am i the lie? is there truth in lying? perhaps truth is only what is observable. then why be concerned with what is real and what isn't? it should be readily available to you, right in front of your eyes. but its not. it hides, it does not exist. there is no way to say anything is real. or true. reality is but a figment of what we have so dearly labeled to be imagination, which is a product of imagination itself. every little bit of "information" that we cling to is really a more complex fractal, becoming more and more complicated every minute.

i swear

the next motherfucker i find, i am going to kill. this shit is fucking ridiculous. i try, and try, and try, and it never works.. why?! is there some god damn fucker who put a fucking curse on me. fuck. i dunno, this is ridiculous. why does it have to be so god damn hard. fuck fuck fuck. in this case, violence is the answer, that the only way to take care of this. fucking find someone and eat their spine. god damn it, why cant i beat this video game?

an ode to insanity

Here, I'll let on a little, its nuts, i live here, in this shell of a head, trying to make sense of this spinning blob of sensory material that tries to relay a message, and i actually believe it to be true, but what thee hell, who the fuck, what the fuck am i to even trust my final vocabulary to make sense of reality, to create reality, to define it, to even conceive the idea of reality. what is reality, do we know? are we, well what is we? we, or me, or you or i, who says its real, who says any of it has any basis? where did it emerge fro? that's why religion was created, to explain this unknown. no body is an atheist, we all believe in some form of reality. we bind ourselves to it. everyday, we are in constant worship. what the hell? are we biologically wired to accept religion? no, that cant be. the concept of biology is another creation of humans, or is it? was it meant to come about? was it part of some plan?