should i understand?

should this make sense? no, maybe not. i don't know whats true anymore, I've lied, and been lied to for so long. is it possible these lies have become me? can one create himself out of nothing? am i the lie? is there truth in lying? perhaps truth is only what is observable. then why be concerned with what is real and what isn't? it should be readily available to you, right in front of your eyes. but its not. it hides, it does not exist. there is no way to say anything is real. or true. reality is but a figment of what we have so dearly labeled to be imagination, which is a product of imagination itself. every little bit of "information" that we cling to is really a more complex fractal, becoming more and more complicated every minute.

i swear

the next motherfucker i find, i am going to kill. this shit is fucking ridiculous. i try, and try, and try, and it never works.. why?! is there some god damn fucker who put a fucking curse on me. fuck. i dunno, this is ridiculous. why does it have to be so god damn hard. fuck fuck fuck. in this case, violence is the answer, that the only way to take care of this. fucking find someone and eat their spine. god damn it, why cant i beat this video game?

an ode to insanity

Here, I'll let on a little, its nuts, i live here, in this shell of a head, trying to make sense of this spinning blob of sensory material that tries to relay a message, and i actually believe it to be true, but what thee hell, who the fuck, what the fuck am i to even trust my final vocabulary to make sense of reality, to create reality, to define it, to even conceive the idea of reality. what is reality, do we know? are we, well what is we? we, or me, or you or i, who says its real, who says any of it has any basis? where did it emerge fro? that's why religion was created, to explain this unknown. no body is an atheist, we all believe in some form of reality. we bind ourselves to it. everyday, we are in constant worship. what the hell? are we biologically wired to accept religion? no, that cant be. the concept of biology is another creation of humans, or is it? was it meant to come about? was it part of some plan?